First time I got pulled over while driving under the influence,
I was coming out of Nashville late one night.
I'd been drinking rotgut whiskey and it didn't agree with me.
And I showed my ass to everyone in sight.
I was driving an old, beat-up, black, 66 Ford pickup,
twin I-beam with a 3 on the tree.
Didn't have no dash lights, couldn't tell how fast I was going
till I saw that Tennessee trooper coming after me.
Two of my good buddies were in a car behind me,
and they just knew that I was going to jail.
They'd been with me all night, and despite their best intentions
I went right on and got myself drunk to hell.
They said they were doing 80, or maybe more when I passed 'em.
And I went by like they were sitting still.
And Ol' Smokey jumped the median with his blue lights a flashin'.
He came up hard and fast on my tail.
Well he wrote me up for speeding, and he wrote me up a warning,
for the tail lights I didn't seem to have.
And just when I thought I felt sweet relief coming,
he looked up and stopped writing on his pad.
He grinned just a little and then asked if I'd been drinking.
I lied and said that two was all I'd had.
He said "Well, if you can hold that ol' truck on the road going that fast,
in my book you can't be doing too bad."
I sat there with my freedom in the hands of the lawman;
dead-to-rights, DWI I was.
My fate played out before me, three months without a license
and how it was gonna break my mama's heart.
I'm sorry to have to tell you, I don't think I learned my lesson.
From time to time I still drive when I'm drunk.
And if I go on living, and keep being so hard-headed,
I'm gonna drink and drive myself right out of luck.
Well, son I hope you're listening, there's a lesson to be learned
but it probably ain't the one you're thinking about.
You don't need me to tell you, a hard head and harder liquor
won't turn you into nothing but inside-out.
If there's one thing that I ain't done since that night in Tennessee,
something that I ain't done one time since.
It changed me forever, and I think I'm better for it:
I never cussed that old pickup again.